Well, what can I say? These two episodes were a worthy end of this trainwreck. Even I couldn't believe (I could πŸ™‚ it was just the normal continuation of the trend they had set) how pathetic they were and I have postponed writing this entry for a week trying to cope with the mental trauma of watching this. Watching the raw of episode 01 of Simoun helped. If you want air battles, I would suggest either that or Last Exile, not Mai Otome which didn't even have nice battles to compensate for the non-sensical plot. I got the impression that the writers were trying much harder to find time to show everyone's Robe and Element than to think of hard-fought battles with great animation and choreography.

A bunch of Otomes who we had barely seen for more than a minute take part in the fight. I think this show should be a candidate for The Biggest Number of Named Characters Award. But if it doesn't get that – well, have no fear it should get the consolation award for the biggest number of moronic character in a show that has actually been successful. I wish i knew how come people like this crap…

Not only did they have to butcher the HiME characters and turn a lot of them into Otome style retards, but Sunrise also recycled some of the Mai HiME music. I don't want to associate Gakuten Ou Kenzan! with one of the most idiotic scenes ever, I want to associate it with episode six of Mai HiME (Midori's first HiME attack). The scene in question involves Nao and her gang getting into Garderobe. One would think this building would be better guarded than your average barracks in the middle of nowhere but that would be quite the wrong assumption. And I don't even want to get into detail about Miss Maria's martial arts prowess (fuck the martial arts, I am much more interested in her plastic surgeon. It's not every day, that one gets such a face-lifting), I just hope the writers try these moves when they get old and end up breaking a leg or two.

Then we have the first of probably a dozen scenes in which someone is saved in the nick of time. This one involves Shizuru and Natsuki and I guess all the ShizNat fanboys and girls got a collective orgasm. Well, good for them. By the way, will anyone tell me why Nagi didn't bother to stop Natsuki and the others? Yes, I know – he knew that the villain had to lose so he turned off his brain. The result was that the collective IQ in this world went down by 50%.

Next, we have the first from many "Am I really witnessing something that stupid?" moments. Since this is a bad Gundam rip-off, we needed to have something stopping the beams of Nagi's forces attack. Guess what was it. A ship? No? An Otome? No. Miyu? Amazingly enough, no. It's…the Black Valley! Yes – it's big, it's black, it's mobile! All hail this valley!

And while we are on the Gundam rip-off topic I really had to include all the comparison pics, because they speak volumes, the words are just unable to describe the total ripping of Gundam SEED Destiny that Otome was. And espesially in this last ep. I made tons of comments on the matter already and have probaly become quite annoying, but they just wouln't stop, so I'll be going on (I srongly suspect the OVAs would be also victims to the ripping disease) and on until I get too tired. Anyway, this is a story in pics througout the post, so no more on blabbering and on with continuing the bashing of the ep…

Nagi still seems calm, he thinks he has the ultimate plot device. Poor bastard, you got to feel for him. We, being the all knowing viewers know that the ultimate plot device happens to be Miyu who actually swims right past the ruins of Fuuka Gakuen from Mai HiME. Of course, no explanation is offered about the connection between the two series rather than the familiar vague hints. It is not even clear why the heck is she down there, besides for her regular swim practice, sometimes interrupted by the odd Child that hates its life.

Natsuki still "loads the Silver Cartridge" just as he used to do in HiME. Nagi's big cannon has the courtesy to wait for her to shoot because it also does that because we have to have colliding beams, right? Gundam Seed had them hence Mai Otome must have them too. Poor Natsuki has no time to enjoy her robe since the deflected beam screws up Shinso yet again.

Next we have Mwu, iie, Neo, no, wait it was someone else, yeah…, I mean Arika stopping the cannon beam before it reached Natsuki and Shizuru (which is also the moment of the second orgasm for the ShizNat fanboys, that must have been an exhausting episode for them). The noble science called Physics screams bloody murder because of this affront to a lot of its laws but the writers are used to that so they don't care. So long with the big huge cannon of Nagi.

Arika and Tomoe continue with their bad performnces as Kira and Suigintou wannabes respectfully (for those of you who don't know who Kira and Suigintou are – the two just continue to talk and talk, while pretending to fight with each other).

Haruka, you baka! Why did you have to save Shizuru? Same goes for Chie who saved Arika. Come to think of it, though, even without Chie Arika would have survived this fall and Shizuru as we know cannot die by virtue of being the fan favourite crazy lesbian bitch. Moreover, the fact that Shiho's absolutely ridiculous antics make more sense than the plot of these two episodes.

Instead of killing all of the gathered Otomes, Tomoe and Nagi have to boast for a few minutes and inform everyone about their brilliant plan. I think I have seen this cliche somewhere… like in a million other films. I wonder if there is a major film cliche which is not used in Mai Otome. And Nagi's reason is, brace yourself – "The pain of war is to all to experience". Well, I don't see him fighting for one thing, but as far as motivations go, his is one of the most plausible in this series which says a lot.

As anyone with an IQ above room temperature must have realised, by that point someone was bound to come and save the Otome crowd in the nick of time. Midori, you baka! Physics still screams for the heads of the writers when inexplicably Arika's robe is turned on. Interference, direct contact? Can't you try to come up with something that's not absolutely laughable? I guess not. Maybe some of you wondered why I was sure Arika would survive the fall? Well, see what happened to Tomoe. Erstin deserves a medal for bravery because she actually managed to die in this series. And I guess that makes her the only tragic loss in 26 episodes… That really IS something, considerring that the characters seem to be protected by plot-shields that make Kira's look as nothing more than mere paper.

Arika meeting the body of her mother is probably one of the most pathetic dramatic scenes I have ever seen. Probably this has to do with Arika being the worst thing that has happened to anime but more with the overall cheesiness of this scene. The two even hug each other…naked. The names Gundam Seed Destiny, Shinn and Stellar ring a bell, Sunrise? Or more importantly the fact that Rena is as dead as Elvis (wait, maybe that wasn't the best example)? I guess ghosts and spirits tend to be naked in the Sunrise world of insane stupidity. I guess one has to be gratefull for the small gifts, those being the lack of sensible talk in Stellar style, that still gives me the vibes, when I think of it, and that we were somehow spared the shinig-ghost part, only getting the naked one.Arika gets an upgrade of her Robe (anyone suprised?). Mai comes from only the writers know where, I guess they forgot about her because they had too many Otomes that no one remembers than names of to care about.

In the end of episode 25 Gozzila attacks. By Gozzila, I mean Nina's Harmonium powered avatar, although Gozzila is probably smarter so it must be offended by this comparison. Sorry, Gozzila.

You heard here first (OK, maybe not first :)) that Sergay and Nina probably did not have sex. Well, the beginnig of episode 26 confirms our suspicions. I would have been glad if I had predicted some twist that made sense, though. Why would Sergey go to bed with Nina and then not have sex with her? The only explanation would that he knew that Big Brother was watching and was trying to amuse the viewers with a bit of soap-operish kind of drama. Sorry, Sergay, you have been voted to leave the Big Brother house and spend the rest of your life with a crazy psycho-bitch. Which one? I will tell you later.

Everyone tries to push Ninazilla back. That was so hilariously idiotic. It was like a bunch of flies trying to push back an elephant. Miyu releases all the Otomes from the chains of their contracts with their masters. I think this robot has one hell of a compensation to pay to all these masters for such an illegal deed. πŸ™‚ Needless to say no explanation is given how Miyu managed to change the colour of an entire moon. I guess plot devices need no explanations in Sunriseworld. Haruka's antics are not funny any longer which is sad. The weirdest thing is that Ninazilla doesn't even bother to get rid of these flies. I guess her desire for Arika's naked body was overwhelming at that point, hence she couldn't care less about Mai, Nao, Natsuki and the others despite their undoubtebly enticing, albeit dressed bodies.

Then we have the umpteenth Gundam rip-off scene. A few questions? Why would Otomes need a runway? Why would they be launched exactly like Gundams? Where did the originality go? Now I would ask is where are the power plugs, they'll use to much power to take off. How could you forget the cabels, Sunrise?

Nagi then decides to give opportunity to the viewers to witness the Otomes in action so he unleashes some more Slaves. Haruka and Shizuru have a Gimli-Legolas moment and compete who will kill more orcs…I mean Slaves. Refer to the originality above. I know it's extremely difficult to come up with something original but is it too much to ask for something that doesn't smell of a rip-off from a thousand miles away? I guess it is. Haruka even takes care to pose for the cameras against the moon in the famous way of the Gundam Seed openings.

OMG, Akane has a catgirl costume! Just when I thought this show couldn't get any more pathetic. Maids, BDSM, catgirls, incest, onsen episode, beach episode, tentacle monster episode, many, many lesbian overtones – come on, leave a few sexual fantasies for the other shows, don't be so greedy, Sunrise! The icing on the cake is the fact that Akane is still a virgin. Yeah, right. Kazu has to be either impotent or the biggest moron in this show and we know that morons here are not exactly in short supply, do we not?

Talking of getting more pathetic, Miss Maria is actually looking about twenty years old when her Robe is activated. Now I know why every girl in that world would kill to be an Otome. No sex with men but eternal youth, at least when in a Robe. I would venture that some Kings probably have to activate their Otome's Robes every day in order for the girl to look best for her evening of hot sex with her lesbian lover. But something is very wrong here – it's absolutely unbelievable that no one would have mentioned that you can look young for a long time if the Robe is activated which serves to prove that this scene was probably something the writers took out of their collective asses (or whatever is the place they find all of their bright ideas, I refuse to believe that it's in their heads) when thinking about a way to make the last episode more memorable and has never occured to them that they should have mentioned this earlier.

Arika and Nina go to settle the score into the Harmonium. Yes, I know it's stupid. Nina is willing to sacrifice the world to keep Sergay alive. Poor child! She has still not figured out that Sergay won't die (unlike the viewers, the majority of whom by that point must have either felt that this was going to be one of the cheesiest happiend ever or have been too stupid or fanboyish to realise the awful truth). Nina and Arika leave the atmosphere and fight in a such a boring manner that it made the previous events of these two episode look almost interesting. It's more of a contest who can scream the loudest rather than a real fight. Not that we are not used to that from Gundam Seed Destiny…

Mashiro tries to threaten Nagi with a knife. As if a brat like her can actually harm someone, even a midget like Nagi. Pathetic, indeed. They talk about the future of the world. Poor kids, they don't know the series will be over without the aftermath of these events being properly showed. If you recall, Nagi first claimed he did all of his evil deeds to get rid of the Otomes in order people to have the chance to fight in the proper old-fashioned way. Now his only goal seems to get rid of the restrictions over the use of technology in this world. So which one is it? Do the writers know or care?

Arika continues to blabber crap about chasing her dreams. I guess the dream of the creators of this series was to make the most pathetic anime ever and still make a profit and it seems they will succeed which is sad. Of course, everyone and his dog knew that Nina will eventully see her mistakes and try to make peace with Arika. But the Harmonium is not happy and decided to intervene (probably because there were too many minutes till the end of the episode). Nina becomes Evil Nina ™ and the end of the world is nigh. Yeah, as if anyone would fall for that. No way this was going to end without a happy end. Sure enough, Arika spits Nina but don't worry, the latter is so not going to die (Of course there's just no way that we will be that lucky). Nagi is arrested and these morons even showed up the arrest warrant. It's like bothering with an arrest warrant for Hitler, how many people would do that? The Harmonium is destroyed but Sergay ends up alive. Explanation? "Who the hell needs such things, we are too busy with showing everyone's Robe, it's a question of fashion" – I can just hear the writers's reply.

The icing on the cake is Nina and Arika's return to surface. Then exited the atmosphere with absolutely no problem but apparently they forgot the trick on the way back because the heat burned their clothes. If you think you'd die if you try that, you are right but I guess when one's chasing his dream everything goes. Of course, we also have something of a lesbian scene in the atmosphere which is quite a rip-off of Kannaduki no Miko.

This time we are going to have an alternative description of these horrific and scarring events – here it goes.

Ok, so as if that is not enough we get the oh, so… no, you can't figure it out… Gundam-like space battle. Yes, that is it! It is final! We had a space battle in HiME, but the one in Otome is once again a complete rip-off of Destiny. I start to wonder why did Sunrise bother do two series if they meant to make them so resembling each other?

So Arika and Nina take it to the space, where the sweet talk gets through Nina's thick scull, but is already too late to save the show… The Harmonium takes over her, she steals Suigintou's black wings, grabs a few mecha parts, incorporates them and turns into a cyborg with wings (man she is a cross-over of Suigintou and Destinyi Gundam, talk about idiosy runing rampart) and she starts to attack the clueless and dumb Arika, who does the only thing a idiot of the kind can do… namely do the Shinn ASS stab.

And then, when one would think that this is it for our fair dadcon obsessed idiot, we get the ever apropriate and welcome reentry scene, where both girls lose their equipment and they continue their flight down naked and embraced. Let all the yuri lovers out there rejoyce! And they made it just fine, pity. So now I really wonder what use do they have for their Mobile Robes if they are capable of falling from hights and reentering the atmosphere without the use of those. I guess their only purpose was the fetish they represent.

The end is a typical example of the ultra-cliched "Dawn of the New Era" and as I mentioned earlier nothing is explained. You want to know more about Miyu? Sorry, you are out of luck. Who built the Harmonium and how? No one knows. Did the Aswad people get rid of their disease? You can just guess. And so on…

Moreover, we see Sergay waking up with Nina next to his bed. Apparenly he recalls nothing. Ah, the beauty of amnesia, one of the best way to get away with stupid plot development. Now Sergei and Nina can start things over. In real world or in a series in which characters, gasp, take responsibility for their actions, NinΠ° would have been punished. But as we know this is the Otome world and there everything goes.

And so end my entries about Mai-Otome. I hope I will overcome the temptation to watch (and bash) the announced four OVAs. (I know I won't. I'll watch them and I'll probaly bash them with all my might, unless for some unexpected reason they turn out decent, not that I really deem it possible) Anyway, the only good things in Mai-Otome were the occasional comic moments that were actually funny for a change, mostly involving Nao and some interesting moments involving Aswad. Everything else was a disaster. And the million and one references to Mai-HiME turned out to be a cheap way to keep people interested rather than a real connection between the two. It takes some kind of really creative stupidity to come up with something as bad as Mai Otome. Now, if you excuse I will try to exorcise the memories of this abomination from my mind or they will haunt me for a long time…

The text in italics is added by the ever ready to bash Mai-Otome Alexis

Advertisements